Instructor: I-Ming Shih
Course Number: 2020
Date: June 21, 2008
Topic: Should umarried couples cohabit before marriage?
(Argumentative Essay)
(Revision)
Whenever I read newspapers and watch news on TV, it is unavoidable to learn the issues and problems of cohabitation. According to the reports, more and more people cohabit rather than get married since families have changed in the last several decades. Even university students live together in order to know if they are perfect for each other. However, I am opposed to cohabitation in terms of such a simple reason. As far as I am concerned, cohabitation without careful negotiation and consideration ahead may give rise to serious problems. Thus, I am convinced that there are more defects than advantages when it comes to living together before marriage.
According to researches and reports, I believe most couples who live together before marriage lack faith. Cohabiting couples are apt to become faithless partners, thinking there are chances to find someone better. Patricia Morgan concluded that “both men and women in cohabiting relationships are more likely to be unfaithful to their partners than married people.” Namely, cohabiting couples easily get involved in affairs on account of such “uncommitted” relationships. What’s more, Linda Waite’s research on cohabitation’s negative effects points out that although cohabiting couples maintain faithful relationship with their partners, nonetheless twenty percent of cohabiting women reported they had secondary sex partners, while only four percent of married women were reported that their relationships were faithful.
Another reason for my objection to living together before marriage is that cohabitation relationships are fragile. One cohabiting couple may not accept another’s habits since they are exposed to each other during cohabitation. In addition, many couples refer to cohabitation as a test for marriage. Accordingly, they easily tend to give up as soon as they found they are not tolerant of each other because they do not have the clear consensus on striving for lifelong relationship. From Patricia Morgan’s review of researches, the cohabiting relationships last shorter than marriages do and the couples are more likely to break up. These “tentative and uncommitted” relationships are liable to get depressing outcomes and disappointments. Just as David H. Olson and Amy Olson-Sigg said, “cohabitation reflects uncertainty.”
In addition to couples living together, effects on children born to cohabiting parents cannot be overlooked. Some believe if cohabiting couples have children, then they will become committed and steady. Nevertheless, I believe that cohabitations with children are more likely to break up; what’s worse, they influence children’s developments in one way or another. Waite said that “the unstable arrangements resulted from couples without intention of getting married may lead to serious problems for children raised in cohabiting households.” Children born to cohabiting parents are more likely to experience a series of frustrations in their family life, which can bring about negative results for their emotional and educational developments. Moreover, according to Morgan, when cohabiting couples with children break up, one parent sometimes move to live with a new person. Therefore, they form informal step-families, which pose other risks to the children. “In one study, young men living in step-families were 1.4 times more likely to be serious or persistent offenders,” said Morgan. “More than one in five young people living in step-families run away from home.”
In spit of such disadvantages, more and more lovers are still increasingly willing to choose cohabitation over marriage. According to David H. Olson and Amy Olson-Sigg, some couples live together because of economic advantages; they expect to save money by sharing living expenses. Nonetheless, researches indicated that cohabiting couples are financially disadvantaged with the lowest level of wealth among household types. Morgan pointed out that “at all socio-economic levels, cohabiting couples accumulate less wealth than married couples.” Also, in marriages, partners often divide their works and accomplish more than they would if they were working independently. One does housework, while the other handles finances, for instance. Conversely, in cohabiting arrangements, rarely does this specialization take place. “The arrangement does not achieve the same work efficiency marriage does, because the partners choose to act more as individuals,” Waite said. As a result, there are still problems behind simply living together to save money.
In a nutshell, I do not support cohabitation based on such analysis mentioned above. The idea of testing if couples are proper to live together is not quite simple when it comes to forming a family. They may not have marriage agreement and just regard living together as a test. Even though the cohabiting couples do not plan to have children, things could still change. Consequently, I am against cohabitation for careless and simples reasons.
According to researches and reports, I believe most couples who live together before marriage lack faith. Cohabiting couples are apt to become faithless partners, thinking there are chances to find someone better. Patricia Morgan concluded that “both men and women in cohabiting relationships are more likely to be unfaithful to their partners than married people.” Namely, cohabiting couples easily get involved in affairs on account of such “uncommitted” relationships. What’s more, Linda Waite’s research on cohabitation’s negative effects points out that although cohabiting couples maintain faithful relationship with their partners, nonetheless twenty percent of cohabiting women reported they had secondary sex partners, while only four percent of married women were reported that their relationships were faithful.
Another reason for my objection to living together before marriage is that cohabitation relationships are fragile. One cohabiting couple may not accept another’s habits since they are exposed to each other during cohabitation. In addition, many couples refer to cohabitation as a test for marriage. Accordingly, they easily tend to give up as soon as they found they are not tolerant of each other because they do not have the clear consensus on striving for lifelong relationship. From Patricia Morgan’s review of researches, the cohabiting relationships last shorter than marriages do and the couples are more likely to break up. These “tentative and uncommitted” relationships are liable to get depressing outcomes and disappointments. Just as David H. Olson and Amy Olson-Sigg said, “cohabitation reflects uncertainty.”
In addition to couples living together, effects on children born to cohabiting parents cannot be overlooked. Some believe if cohabiting couples have children, then they will become committed and steady. Nevertheless, I believe that cohabitations with children are more likely to break up; what’s worse, they influence children’s developments in one way or another. Waite said that “the unstable arrangements resulted from couples without intention of getting married may lead to serious problems for children raised in cohabiting households.” Children born to cohabiting parents are more likely to experience a series of frustrations in their family life, which can bring about negative results for their emotional and educational developments. Moreover, according to Morgan, when cohabiting couples with children break up, one parent sometimes move to live with a new person. Therefore, they form informal step-families, which pose other risks to the children. “In one study, young men living in step-families were 1.4 times more likely to be serious or persistent offenders,” said Morgan. “More than one in five young people living in step-families run away from home.”
In spit of such disadvantages, more and more lovers are still increasingly willing to choose cohabitation over marriage. According to David H. Olson and Amy Olson-Sigg, some couples live together because of economic advantages; they expect to save money by sharing living expenses. Nonetheless, researches indicated that cohabiting couples are financially disadvantaged with the lowest level of wealth among household types. Morgan pointed out that “at all socio-economic levels, cohabiting couples accumulate less wealth than married couples.” Also, in marriages, partners often divide their works and accomplish more than they would if they were working independently. One does housework, while the other handles finances, for instance. Conversely, in cohabiting arrangements, rarely does this specialization take place. “The arrangement does not achieve the same work efficiency marriage does, because the partners choose to act more as individuals,” Waite said. As a result, there are still problems behind simply living together to save money.
In a nutshell, I do not support cohabitation based on such analysis mentioned above. The idea of testing if couples are proper to live together is not quite simple when it comes to forming a family. They may not have marriage agreement and just regard living together as a test. Even though the cohabiting couples do not plan to have children, things could still change. Consequently, I am against cohabitation for careless and simples reasons.
