Cohabitation Reconsidered

Name:Grace
Instructor: I-Ming Shih
Course Number: 2020
Date: June 21, 2008
Topic: Should umarried couples cohabit before marriage?
(Argumentative Essay)
(Revision)

Whenever I read newspapers and watch news on TV, it is unavoidable to learn the issues and problems of cohabitation. According to the reports, more and more people cohabit rather than get married since families have changed in the last several decades. Even university students live together in order to know if they are perfect for each other. However, I am opposed to cohabitation in terms of such a simple reason. As far as I am concerned, cohabitation without careful negotiation and consideration ahead may give rise to serious problems. Thus, I am convinced that there are more defects than advantages when it comes to living together before marriage.
According to researches and reports, I believe most couples who live together before marriage lack faith. Cohabiting couples are apt to become faithless partners, thinking there are chances to find someone better. Patricia Morgan concluded that “both men and women in cohabiting relationships are more likely to be unfaithful to their partners than married people.” Namely, cohabiting couples easily get involved in affairs on account of such “uncommitted” relationships. What’s more, Linda Waite’s research on cohabitation’s negative effects points out that although cohabiting couples maintain faithful relationship with their partners, nonetheless twenty percent of cohabiting women reported they had secondary sex partners, while only four percent of married women were reported that their relationships were faithful.
Another reason for my objection to living together before marriage is that cohabitation relationships are fragile. One cohabiting couple may not accept another’s habits since they are exposed to each other during cohabitation. In addition, many couples refer to cohabitation as a test for marriage. Accordingly, they easily tend to give up as soon as they found they are not tolerant of each other because they do not have the clear consensus on striving for lifelong relationship. From Patricia Morgan’s review of researches, the cohabiting relationships last shorter than marriages do and the couples are more likely to break up. These “tentative and uncommitted” relationships are liable to get depressing outcomes and disappointments. Just as David H. Olson and Amy Olson-Sigg said, “cohabitation reflects uncertainty.”
In addition to couples living together, effects on children born to cohabiting parents cannot be overlooked. Some believe if cohabiting couples have children, then they will become committed and steady. Nevertheless, I believe that cohabitations with children are more likely to break up; what’s worse, they influence children’s developments in one way or another. Waite said that “the unstable arrangements resulted from couples without intention of getting married may lead to serious problems for children raised in cohabiting households.” Children born to cohabiting parents are more likely to experience a series of frustrations in their family life, which can bring about negative results for their emotional and educational developments. Moreover, according to Morgan, when cohabiting couples with children break up, one parent sometimes move to live with a new person. Therefore, they form informal step-families, which pose other risks to the children. “In one study, young men living in step-families were 1.4 times more likely to be serious or persistent offenders,” said Morgan. “More than one in five young people living in step-families run away from home.”
In spit of such disadvantages, more and more lovers are still increasingly willing to choose cohabitation over marriage. According to David H. Olson and Amy Olson-Sigg, some couples live together because of economic advantages; they expect to save money by sharing living expenses. Nonetheless, researches indicated that cohabiting couples are financially disadvantaged with the lowest level of wealth among household types. Morgan pointed out that “at all socio-economic levels, cohabiting couples accumulate less wealth than married couples.” Also, in marriages, partners often divide their works and accomplish more than they would if they were working independently. One does housework, while the other handles finances, for instance. Conversely, in cohabiting arrangements, rarely does this specialization take place. “The arrangement does not achieve the same work efficiency marriage does, because the partners choose to act more as individuals,” Waite said. As a result, there are still problems behind simply living together to save money.
In a nutshell, I do not support cohabitation based on such analysis mentioned above. The idea of testing if couples are proper to live together is not quite simple when it comes to forming a family. They may not have marriage agreement and just regard living together as a test. Even though the cohabiting couples do not plan to have children, things could still change. Consequently, I am against cohabitation for careless and simples reasons.

Weekly Journal

Date: 06.10.2008

Yesterday I went to Tasty for dinner with my seniors because one of them is going to graduate from college. Before that, I had been in charge of this reunion. However, I was quite busy because of the coming of the end of this semester; therefore I had been worried that I could not spare my time to purchase the present for the graduate. Luckily, my senior by one year, Crystal, was willing to buy it so I just book the restaurant. I was quite grateful to have Crystal help me. The food there was fantastic and we enjoyed it very much; we all had a lovely night.
The week for final exam is coming but before this week I have two subject final exams which made me anxious. I also had some reports to work on.

I wish I could handle them! >"<

Weekly Journal

I have recently found myself counting the minutes and waiting for classes dismissing since the midterm exams ended. I could not concentrate on what the instructor lectured and take careless notes which I could even not identify later on. I had no idea why I distract my attention. Besides, I also got some troublesome problems while working part time. One of my works is to clean a classroom in the language center. It is explicit that no food and no drinking in the classroom. However, I always find garbage left in drawers. I can overlook eating and drinking but I just can’t stand garbage left! How disgusting! Whenever I find garbage I just can’t control my temper and can’t but curse the students that have done these things.
I found an unbelievable truth by accident and I just could not accept it yet. I wonder why a person who did nothing nevertheless got exceptional results based on nothing but good luck. Conversely, those who work hard achieve their goals hardly. How ridiculous! Those who idle around seem to be much blessed.
By the way, these days I was captivated by the TV series, CSI. So far I just watched season one and I can’t wait to watch them all.

Weekly Journal

My instructor of composition asked students to write online with Criterion. The title for this time was Films and I finished it several days ago. Before I wrote this assignment, I looked for resources to organize my essay. Meanwhile, my senior by many tears, also my superior, recommended I watch the film, Love Actually. After I watched it, I found it was really fantastic but it was a pity that I was not able to write it. Therefore, I wrote an article about the movie, National Treasure. In order to write with this topic, I surfed the Internet to search to understanding deep implication revealing from the movie because I did not quite get it. However, after the research, I was actually more bewildered by “the Knights of Templar treasure” and its relation with Founding Fathers. Finally, I could just write some brief ideas about the film. I failed to understand it profoundly.

Considering Cohabitation

Name:Grace
Instructor: I-Ming Shih
Course Number: 2020
Date: May 6, 2008

Topic: Should umarried couples cohabit before marriage?

(Argumentative Essay)

(Rough Draft)

Whenever I watch the newspaper and news channels on TV, it is unavoidable to learn the issues and problems of cohabitation. From the report, more and more people live together or cohabit rather than get married since families have changed in the last several decades. Even university couples live together in order to know if they are perfect for each other. However, I disagree with cohabitation in terms of such a simple reason. As far as I am concerned, cohabitation without careful negotiation and consideration ahead may give rise to serious problems. Thus, I am convinced that there are more defects than advantages when it comes to living together.

According to researches and reports, I believe most couples in cohabitation relationships lack faith. They would think there are chances of finding someone better. Patricia Morgan concluded that “both men and women in cohabiting relationships are more likely to be unfaithful to their partners than married people.” Namely, Cohabiting couples are easily to get involved in affairs because of lacking promise. Also, Linda Waite’s research looking at cohabitation’s negative effect points that showing cohabiting couples look forward to their relationships to be faithful, the surveys also showed that twenty percent of cohabiting women reported they had secondary sex partners, while only four percent of married women reported they did.

Another reason that I disagree with living together is that cohabitation relationships are fragile. From Patricia Morgan’s review of researches, contrary to marriages, the relationships last shortly and the couples are more likely to break up. These tentative and uncommitted relationships are liable to get depressing outcomes and disappointments. Just as said by David H. Olson and Amy Olson-Sigg, cohabitation reflects uncertainty.

Aside from couples living together, effects on children born to cohabiting parents are influential. Some believe if cohabiting couples have children, then they must be committed and stable. Nevertheless, I believe that cohabitations with children are more likely to break up; what’s worse, they possibly influence children in one way or another. Waite said that the unstable arrangements resulted from couples without intention of getting married may lead to serious problems for children raised in cohabiting households. Children born to cohabiting parents are more likely to experience a series of disruptions in their family life, which can bring about negative results for their emotional and educational development. Moreover, according to Morgan, when cohabiting couples with children break up, one parent sometimes move with in a new person. Therefore, they form informal step-families, which pose other risks to the children. “In one study, young men living in step-families were 1.4 times more likely to be serious or persistent offenders,” said Morgan. “More than one in five young people living in step-families run away from home.”

Some couples live together in terms of economic advantages; they expect to save money by sharing living expenses, according to David H. Olson and Amy Olson-Sigg. Nonetheless, researches sowed that cohabiting couples are disadvantaged financially with the lowest level of wealth among household types. Morgan pointed that “at all socio-economic levels, cohabiting couples accumulate less wealth than married couples.” Also, cohabiting mothers often lack access to the father's income, making it more difficult to balance their caring responsibilities with their careers. Thus, there are still problems behind simply living together to save money.

In a nutshell, I do not agree to cohabitation in terms of such analysis. The idea of testing if couples are proper to live together is basically fine but things are not quite simple when it comes to forming a family.

Weekly Journal

These days I’ve been frustrated, and depressed. Someone asked me a few questions and I answered completely. However, that person apparently did not believe what I said. I was furious and thought: if you don’t trust me, why you ask me? To my disappointment, this sort of situation occurred not just once. Somebody else had asked me another thing and I had told the truth. Nevertheless, that “somebody else” asked another person and got different answer form me. Then that “somebody else” blamed me and showed off the “right answer.” Finally, the result showed I was right in fact and that “somebody else” blamed me again for hiding the truth from him/her. (Sorry I do not want to tell who that “somebody else” is.)
I just think if you do not believe me and do not ask me any question, that’s all right. Once you ask me and I give the correct answer but you still do not believe me, you irritate me. That’s not the way to trust a person you trust. Finally, I realize that there’s “a lie” lying in “a believe.”

weekly journal

Date: April 1, 2008

I'm sorry that I've postponed posting this piece for so long.

The spring vacation and midterm exam were coming; what’s worse, my Japanese exam was had held ahead of time and the instructor kept giving lectures after the exam. It was really awful to prepare midterm and study new lessons simultaneously; needless to say I will take GEPT during the midterm. However, I still had a good time in my spring vacation even though I had to prepare Japanese exam.
I was sort of nervous about GEPT because I have to take Lab Workshop III if I do not pass the High Intermediate Level. Conversely, if I pass, the subject will be considered selected course. Honestly, I do not want the subject to be required course so I must pass the level. Nonetheless I was worried because I seldom trained my listening skill. I do hope I could pass the test. Bless me>”<

weekly journal

A few days I was surprised, finding that I got feedback, which had been from Singapore, on my blog. I used to browse the blogs of my friends but never left messages so I thought most people, who visited someone’s blog with which they did not familiar, would merely browse and not leave any comment. Thus, I was quite astonished that someone I did not know shared his reflection which was left last year. However, I just found the feedback these days. This experience was new to me and it dawned on me all of a sudden that the Internet is boundless.
Last week I attended a lecture about a short-term English camp of University of South Australia. Melody and I was dying for this opportunity to go abroad so we asked our parents’ opinions. I was quite delighted my parents allowed me to take part in this activity. Now I have to save money in order to prepare the cost. I anticipate the journey’s coming!

Summary-Response Essay (Final Draft)

Name: Grace
Instructor: 施以明
Course Number: 2020
Date: 03.25.2008

Lectures or Discussions

In“College Lectures: Is Anybody Listening?” David Daniels argues that lecture system influences students, professors, and even American business. According to Daniels, the present system makes American education less challenged and thus results in the lack of basic skills and general culture of college graduates. The lectures are ineffective and should be replaced by workable methods. He says large lecture classes harm not only students, who became impatient listeners because of the lack of“active listening” as they begin their college life, but also professors on account of less feedback, few questions and comments. In spite of the shortcomings, the lecture system will continue to be carried out because of its economic necessity and long tradition. Therefore, Daniels suggests that smaller discussion classes are supposed to be given during the first two years of college, when students need close and respective instruction, in order to improve their intelligent listening skills and creative thinking way. I am partly convinced of Daniels’ opinion. However, my personal experiences show that lectures are not exactly so redundant while small discussion classes are not really adorable.
As far as I am concerned, classes respecting languages should indeed be given as small classes, instead of large lecture classes that consist of a great number of students. Take my Japanese and Spanish classes for example; these courses are exactly given as large classes. The instructors are quite fine and teach grammar earnestly but the only one thing students can do is just sit there and keep taking notes. Due to a good many students, the teachers are not able to offer discussions and activities to discover whether students completely know what they learn or not. So, the only way to test if students learn well is exams which will nevertheless easily turn out to be merely memorization. Conversely, to speak a language well, the way of acquiring should not be restricted to grammar learning. The language classes ought to be smaller size and the instructors should focus on not only grammar but also speaking and listening. Also, the method of grading could not be limited to simply exams that are not the goal of learning. After all, we want to master a language rather than only do well on exams.
Another point of view of mine contrary to David Daniels is that I do not think small discussion classes are all good for students. Whether small classes are effective or not depends on how the professors instruct. One of my classes is exact a small discussion class; nonetheless, I feel that I seem not to acquire anything at all in the class. On the first day of this class, the instructor just said that all we had to do is talk as much as possible. Students just made groups by themselves and chatted until they did not know what to say finally. The class seemed quite untrammeled but we felt bored later on. Hence, we still needed the instructor to plan activities and evoke our passion so that we could involve ourselves in discussions.
In addition to the sort of inadequate methods of gives of classes, I still have several experiences of nice classes. The professors still give lectures but weave group discussions, presentations and films watching into the course schedule; consequently, the stuffs enrich the classes and make them absorbing and interesting. When the instructors lecture, we listen carefully and take notes about the teachers’ summaries, explanations, and comments of articles and essays. As for presentations, we have to report in team works so we look for and collect information collaboratively. After presenting, we could get the sense of achievement. When it comes to watching movies related to what we learn, the films give us profound impressions and new viewpoints varied form previous thoughts. In these ways, students are able to response their reflections and instructors can also get feedback. This kind of instruction is a little bit difficult to practice but seemingly better for students and professors.
David Daniels has pointed out the defects of lecture system which has passed down and rooted in the education system. Nonetheless, whether it is proper or inappropriate depends on how professors instruct. What’s more, no matter students, instructors, faculty, or administrators, they are supposed to try to find the balance between lectures and small discussion classes. As a result, both lectures and discussions have advantages and shortcomings; whether they work effectively depends on how people make use of them.

weekly journal

Sorry that I late wrote the journal this week for what I wanted to write was what happened to me this weekend when I went hone. My first vote of twenty years old was for the presidential election. There were some people who could not vote though they would be twenty years old this year so I was lucky to have this right. Also, I took Kaohsiung MRT with my father. The station near my home belonged to orange line which did not start to offer service yet so we went to Cianjhen Senior High School to take the MRT. However, there were a great number of people crowed in the train, the scene spots and everywhere so we did actually not visit many places. When we went back home, I was surprised and touched that my sister made some cookies for me. It was such a good day!

Summary-Response Essay (Rough Draft)

Name: Grace
Instructor: 施以明
Course Number: 2020
Date: 03.18.2008

Lecture or Discussion

In“College Lectures: Is Anybody Listening?” David Daniel argues that lecture system influences students, professors, and even American business. According to Daniel, the present system makes American education less challenged and thus results in the lack of basic skills and general culture of college graduates. The lectures are ineffective and should be replaced by workable methods. He says large lecture classes harm not only students, who became passing enthusiastic listeners because of the lack of“active listening” as they begin their college life, but also professors on account of less feedback, few questions and comments. In spite of the shortcomings, the lecture system will continue to be carried out because of its economic necessity and long tradition. Therefore, Daniel suggests that smaller discussion classes are supposed to be given during the first tow years of college, when students need close and respective instruction, in order to improve their intelligent listening skills and creative thinking way. I am partly convinced of Daniel’s opinion. However, my personal experiences show that lectures are not exactly so redundant while small discussion classes are not really adorable.
As far as I am concerned, classes respecting languages should indeed be given as small classes, instead of large lecture classes that consist of a great number of students. Take my Japanese and Spanish for example; these courses are exactly given as large classes. The instructors are quite fine and teach grammar earnestly but the only one thing students can do is just sit there and keep taking notes. Due to a good many students, the teachers are not able to offer discussions and activities to discover whether students completely know what they learn or not. So, the only way to test if students learn well is exams which will easily turn out to be merely memorization. Conversely, to speak a language well, the way of acquiring should not be restricted to grammar learning. The languages classes ought to be smaller size and the instructors should focus on not only grammar but also speaking and listening. Also, the method of grading could not be limited to simply exams that are not the goal of learning. After all, we want to master a language rather than only do well on exams.
Another point of view of mine contrary to David Daniel is that I do not think small discussion classes are all good for students. Whether small classes are effective or not depends on how the professors instruct. One of my classes is exact a small discussion class; nonetheless, I feel that I seem not to acquire anything at all in the class. On the first day of this class, the instructor said that all we had to do is talk as much as possible. Students just made groups by themselves and chatted until they did not know what to say finally. The class seemed quite untrammeled but we felt bored later on. What we wanted in this class was practice oral English and conversations as fluent as we could. Besides, we still needed the instructor to muster up activities and evoke our passion so that we could involve ourselves in discussions.
In addition to the sort of inadequate methods of gives of classes, I still have several experiences of nice way that classes are instructed. The professors still give lectures but weave presentations and films watching into the course schedule; consequently, they enrich the classes and make them absorbing and interesting. When the instructors lecture, we listen to and take note about the teacher’s summaries, explanations, and comments of articles and essays. As for presentations, we have to report in team works so we look for and collect information collaboratively. After presenting, we could get the sense of achievement. When it comes to watching movies related to what we learn, the films give us profound impressions and new viewpoints varied form previous thoughts. In these ways, students are able to response their reflections and instructors can also get feedback. This kind of instruction is a little bit difficult to practice but seemingly better for students and professors.
David Daniel has pointed out the defects of lecture system which has passed down and rooted in the education system. Nonetheless, whether it is proper or inappropriate depends on how professors instruct. What’s more, no matter students, instructors, faculty, or administrators, they are supposed to try to find the balance between lectures and small discussion classes.

weekly journal

Recently I have spent quite much money buying clothes and shoes. So last week I worked par-time every day in an attempt to earn bonus. (I usually work three days every week.) Also, I would go to the language center to assist the GEPT in order to earn extra money. However, I still desired to buy clothes for spring would be coming and new clothes became available in the market. The desire for buying new clothes was really terrible. In spite the fact that I did nit want to spend too much money of my parents, I could not stop longing for clothes, shoes and bags. So that was really a struggle with purchase.
In addition, I was released from pressure and anxiety of NPR presentation in listening class because I have already finished it. I was quite nervous and stressed before I stepped on the platform and deliver a speech in front of many people. Finally after I finished the presentation, I was confused by my classmates’ comments. Cylder said that the speed of my speech was appropriate and she thought I was not nervous at all. Nevertheless, Jennifer told me that I talked with amazing speed so that she could not understand what I presented. I would consider both their comments and improve my presentation because what the audience feel about was important.

weekly journal

This weekend I will be alone for both my roommates will go home. It is not the first time when I am home alone but I still feel sort of lonely. I do not want to go outside this weekend because I have worked everyday this week and I get exhausted. However, I look forward to sing with my colleagues this Sunday.
Although I enjoy being alone sometimes, I would still become homesick, seeing most friends going home. I would stay and not go home until the presidential election is coming for save the money of the train tickets. I have not been home since this semester began and I quite miss my family. I hope that the day of my returning will be coming soon.

weekly journal

I spent almost all money on Thursday afternoon and nigh sing and seeing the movie. We got a day off this day and I was relieved from the stress of the new beginning of new semester. I sang with my friend, Claire, also my roommate. Jennifer had hesitated to go with us but finally decided to go shopping. After singing, we went to see the film, 27 Dresses which was quite a funny and sweet comedy. Melody also joined us and we all enjoyed the film. Here the plot outline:“After serving as a bridesmaid 27 times, a young woman (Heigl) wrestles with the idea of standing by her sister's side as her sibling marries the man she's secretly in love with.”(From“IMDb”)
On the other hand, this movie made me think of another film, In Her Shoes which also showed the interaction between sisters. I knew well how difficult to be an older sister because I am. Furthermore, I also wanted to see Enchanted and PS I Love You but that would be a long tome to pull off this plan after I spent almost my money on this holiday.

weekly journal

Sometimes I would think that it was quite surprising and unacceptable that someone could know what I thought deeply inside my mind. The situation happened to me and often made me shocked. I did not like my inner thoughts, which I wanted to hide, to be revealed to everybody. By the way, that was also the reason that sometimes I did not like show and tell. Sharing experiences and sharing how you thought and how you felt to others were fine. But I hated when others asked me to talk more, which was not what I wanted to talk about.